A quick exercise from 'The Happiness Trap'
A couple of years ago I got the advice from a psychologist to read the book ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Russ Harris. It’s a book about the ACT-method (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and according to the site http://www.thehappinesstrap.com ACT is ‘[…] to accept what is out of your personal control, while committing to action that will improve your quality of life.’
I read through it during the spring of 2012 and didn’t really feel like it was helping and even though some of the exercises and methods provided a small relief, I didn’t feel like I was getting better in the long run. I’m going to give the book another try. Back then, I hadn’t really accepted that I was depressed and focused on different avoidance strategies instead. Now, I’m in PDT trying to find out what caused my depression in the first place, and I’m more conscious about how I act in different situations.
Some of the exercises in the book takes time to do and often require pen and paper, but since we live in the digital era I might as well write them on my computer and hey, why not share them with you? The exercises can actually be found at the webpage mentioned above and are part of the free resources.
The exercise
This part is about discovering my control strategies that I have been using instead of dealing with the actual problem:The thoughts I’d most like to get rid of are
- The thought that I am inadequate at everything I do
- That I have to be socially active in order to keep my friends
- The major feeling of that nobody wants me, or ever will
- Is feeling nothing a feeling?
- The fact that I can't enjoy anything anymore.
- Nothing is interesting or engaging like it used to be when I was younger.
- The extreme amount of bottled frustration
- Alcohol is the only thing that really makes me relax
- No memories really, mainly the feelings that are connected to those memories
Opting out Refused to visit friends or go out and have a drink with people I enjoy spending time with. Avoided big crowds since I get very uneasy with a lot of people around me. Refusing to answer my phone when friends and family have called, with the consequence of not talking to my parents for a couple of months on end. Decline invites to go hiking or skiing abroad with my friends. Hell, I’ve even broken contact with a good friend of mine since some memories were too painful.
Thinking strategies Worrying, Dwelling on the past, Fantasizing about the future, Imagining revenge scenarios, Imagining escape scenarios, Imagining suicide scenarios, Thinking ‘It’s not fair …’, Thinking ‘If only ….’, Thinking of killing yourself, Blaming yourself, Talking logically to yourself, Talking positively to yourself, Talking negatively to yourself, Analyzing yourself, Analyzing the situation
Substances Eating way too much junk food during some periods, with some periods of one meal/day only and with way too much exercise. Drinking alcohol often, and in large quantities. Prescription drugs such as SSRI:s.
Anything else Bottling down ALL feelings deep inside, to the point that only some small emotions pop up now and then. Mainly negative emotions.
Done
And the answer to the follow-up questions such as: "Did this make me happier? What have this cost me in the long run?": No, not happier. I saved money by doing this though (except the alcohol part, which is expensive where I live). But now I'm stressed out because I don't make the same amount of money each month that I used to.I did this exercise yesterday but I didn’t write anything down since I thought it was a waste of time, but now it seems like it was worth the time to at least try to put the thoughts into real words. We’ll see if I post some other exercises here as well. I recommend reading the book even if the results might never come, if all else fails: you get better insight in how a psychologist treats depression.