Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
The post title can be attributed to George Burns, an American comedian, and that is a pretty accurate way of describing sex when you have a depression. Or for me at least. I’ve mentioned earlier that serotonin can affect (amongst many other things) the sex-drive (libido) in a person. I’ve looked for articles about this but all I can find is that pretty much the entire medial profession agree on that while high levels of serotonin can cause low sex-drive, it’s not really known exactly why and how. Although I did find something about a lab experiment in China where scientists made a couple of mice prefer both female and male mating partners by removing their serotonin completely, and when they injected serotonin into their bodies again - they preferred female partners (as I could understand, the test-mice were male) 1,2. That is not the topic I’m going to cover though. The links can be found at the bottom of this post, so feel free to further research the topic by yourself. So in short, high levels of serotonin might cause low sex-drive - and SSRI:s can (and will) raise your serotonin levels if dosed correctly.
What follows is from my own personal experience with SSRI:s and some of its side effects. Higher levels of serotonin does affect your sex-drive, both physically and mentally. Mentally by making the entire act seem pretty pointless and more of a chore than anything, and for me - my thoughts wander, a lot. I can be thinking about a programming algorithm in the middle of it, and how I should solve a problem at work. I don’t know if my girlfriend have noticed this (she will from now on though, since I know that she reads this blog once in a while), but it must be somewhat weird.
Physically by delaying the orgasm, so when you actually want to have sex you need to continue going like a freaking Duracell-bunny. The last part might sound like fun, I mean - why keep it short? It is fun for the first few times, then it just gets annoying and you give up. For me, it’s not that big of a deal - but my girlfriend isn’t really a big fan of that sort of behavior - and it can make her feel inadequate. This is understandable, but it’s not really something I can control. So in short; you don’t want to have sex and you can’t climax (easily) those few times you actually do.
So my though on the subject? Meh. I could go without. It’s more of a hassle and it’s pretty much just a two-person workout. And the sheets get dirty… For a guy who hates cleaning and washing that’s a downside. These are the things I focus on and I’m not even close to feeling what some people describe:
Sometimes I have so many other symptoms going on that I don’t even realize it’s horniness. I get very antsy, I just want to go on an adventure. I want to eat good food, drive fast, do something exciting! Then when I finally have sex I’m like, oh that’s all I needed, and I can finally relax.3
Its like slowly slipping into a different, warm, wet world of consciouness..dream like and foreign but at the same time familiar.Almost like becoming one with someone. Orgasm...is like every nerve in your body becomes alive and they all meet at once and then....the pulsing and then the phone ringing.....lol4
The first quote is from a woman, and the second from a man. I can’t really identify with either of them, although based on the search results for men trying to describe what sex feels like - not a single guy can actually give a good answer. Someone described it as getting your toe sucked on, but times a thousand. Someone else tried to describe it as when you REALLY need to use a q-tip. The q-tip analogy is right on! To add, you know when your inner ear really itches and you have to gently scratch it, you know how great that feels? Ok, now think how RARE that actually happens? Same thing - that extremely rare ‘itch’ that gets you going sexually4.
It would be awesome to be able to feel what the quoted people are feeling, but I just can’t feel it. Since I don’t really know anything different it’s not a big problem, but I’m having trouble understanding people who claim that guys want to have sex all the time. I’m a guy, and I rather read a book most of the time, or clean my ear using a q-tip. Since I have been feeling down for the larger part of my life, I really don’t know whether my lack of lust is caused by the depression in general or by the SSRI:s I’m taking. I’m guessing it’s a nice combination.
“Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.” -William Shakespeare
[1] - http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/220281.php [2] - http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2011/03/28/serotonin-and-sexual-preference-is-it-really-that-simple/ [3] - http://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2014/10/36-women-describe-what-sexual-arousal-feels-like-nsfw/ [4] - http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2009/04/guys-reveal-what-sex-really-fe